Randomness

My Wishlist

Amazon is awesome, but their wishlist has flaws. So, here’s a list of things I’ll never buy for myself, but that I want:

I keep this list up to date!

Ship to:

Casey Calvert

19360 Rinaldi St #459

Porter Ranch, CA 91326

or for digital stuff, send to caseycalvertxxx@gmail.com.

If you send me something, be sure to send me an email so I can properly thank you!

Love sex workers crop hoodie
black, size medium

Etsy gift card

Hughes Estate Sales gift card

Home Depot gift card

Restoration Hardware gift card

Reformation gift card

Revival Rugs gift card

Warby Parker gift card

Hopeless Lingerie gift card

Today’s Question, About Questions

Casey, what is your most and least favorite things about answering questions from your fans?

I’ll start with least. My least favorite thing is having to go through all of the bad questions to find the good ones.

For example, right now, in my inbox, there are…

3 questions on when I am going to do a creampie.

4 questions asking about if I sell custom pics/videos

6 questions with easily googleable answers.

And over 15 jerk-off fodder “questions” (ex. What are your thoughts about strap-on sex with guys? Are you into that type of stuff? from someone who has a pic of a girl fucking a guy with a strap-on as his avatar).

I really should just delete them all.

My favorite thing is when I get asked a really good question – one that makes me think, one that inspires me to write something really great. Those questions make mulling through the bad ones worth it.

So, About That Pussy…

About once a week now, I get someone emailing/tweeting/etc asking me about my pussy. More specifically, asking me about how I get it so goddamned smooth.

And I’m getting tired of answering the very same question over and over and over again. So, I figure, if I blog about it, curious people can google.

Here’s the whole story:

I hated my pubes from the second they started growing. I had a Bobbi Starr-esque bush at 16, and I HATED it. I was so self-conscious. I refused to wear bathing suits, and boys, pssh. That wasn’t even an option. I tried waxing, but it grew back in a day. And with shaving, the stubble was so dark on my thighs it didn’t even make a difference. And the ingrowns. Boy, the ingrowns.

So, when I was 17, a laser hair removal facility opened up in town. After hearing their commercials on the radio, I went in for a quote. It was expensive. Really expensive. Especially for a 17 year old with a part-time job at the rock gym. But I so desperately wanted it. So my parents paid half the bill.

It took 2 years worth of treatments to get it to a place where I was happy.

I didn’t remove my bush for porn. I didn’t remove my bush for sex, or because of pressure from a boyfriend. I was a virgin. Sex was the farthest thing from my mind when I wrote that check.

I did it for me.

Now please, stop asking for shaving advice 🙂

So smooooooth

So smooooooth

The Things You’ve Missed

Hi everyone, sorry for being gone so long. That’s gonna change. I’m still gonna post tumlbr Q&As (I’m getting back on there as well) and the intellectual stuff, but I’m also gonna post more sexy fun things.

To make up for my lack of posting, here’s 6 things you might not know about me…

1. I moved, and it’s been occupying all my time. If you don’t know this, where have you been? If you want to catch up: www.railyardloft.com/construction-blog

2. I got a dog! This is Eve. My neighbor found her on the side of the freeway on Christmas Eve. She came to our house to spend the night, and never left.

Eve

Eve is in a cone because she was scratching her ears to death. She’s got bad allergies, just like her mom. So now she gets benedryl, and a cone to heal the scabs.

3. I turned 25, so I’m practically a MILF now. Here’s what I did on my birthday:

CaseyCalvertJonJon

Jon Jon and I.

4. Now that I have a real kitchen, I’ve started to teach myself how to cook. Keep an eye on my instagram (@caseycalvert) for updates.

5. I know you know that I rock climb, but I know you don’t know that I started going to circus school. I’ve also been doing gymnastics again. As soon as I get my silks and trapeze set up, I’ll have pics for you!

6. Who’s interested in buying wardrobe from my scenes? Well, now you can! Blog post on this to follow.

CaseyCalvertWetFood

Yes, that’s 13 boys.

 

 

 

 

Sex with Dead/ Very Old People

It’s that time again, another TRPAMAQOTANIAI.

You are required (by law..?) to have (as freaky as possible) sex with one of the following- William Shakespeare, Sigmund Freud, or Betty White? Who and why?

This is tricky, because I want to pick all three.

Betty White, just because she’s Betty White. She has lived a life. Plus, then I could say I’ve fucked someone who’s 92.

William Shakespeare, for the dirty talk, and because there are a very, very select few of you out there who truly understand how much wordsmithery turns me on.

But when it comes right down to it, I’m a kinky motherfucker, and I cannot even imagine the kind of dirtiness Sigmund Freud would come up with.

I’d even tolerate the post-coital psychoanalysis for it.

 

I Love You, Internet

I’ve spent my morning researching the freshman from Duke University who works in porn (blog post to follow). But I’ve found so many wonderful gems, just in comments following news articles about this topic, that I MUST share.

I didn’t make any of these up.*

  • I’m amazed by the ‘you can’t rape a porn star’ attitude. Anyone want to explain that one?
  • The response: There’s really no logical explanation, but I’ll try: porn stars are down for anything. If a bunch of dudes want to run a train on a porn star, she’ll supposedly agree to it. If someone she finds unattractive wants to have sex with her, she’ll do it just because she’s a porn star, therefore they have absolutely no standards.”

Ummm… so just because I’m down for an on-camera gangbang means that I’ll agree to a gangbang with a bunch of (untested) strangers I’ve met at a bar? Uh huh.

  •  I know a girl who has a criminal justice degree. Instead of doing porn, she worked in strip clubs, did escort, and had at least 25 customers before her 20th birthday. She didn’t have any problem with paying for schools or pay her rent on time while she was in college, I wish you should have taken that route in order to avoid any repercussion from the work you’re doing.

What? So American society thinks it’s completely okay for a girl to be hooker? Did I miss the memo?

  • Give me a break. If you are a sex worker honey no need to attend Duke. Whoring has been around since the beginning of time so just go do it. You got into Duke and you are so dimwitted to think that no one who say something to you if they found out you did porn?

There’s no need for sex workers to use our brains. We are just wet holes, after all!

  • Really? How did you even get into Duke in the first place? Your personal statement should have been titled “My Financial Plan to Pay for School through Porn.”

She’s so stupid, how ever did she get into Duke, let alone graduate from high school?

  • So how much do you charge for a blowjob. Prostitution is legal if there’s a camera and that is all you are at this point so what’s your going rates? Seriously.

Seriously. I’d fuck her.

  • Maybe you should have chosen a less expensive school and kept your pants on. Your surprise at the response you’ve gotten only proves your naivete. Smarten up. Go to a school you can afford with a job that doesn’t consist of faking orgasms.
  • The response: Maybe you should go and fuck yourself to death, dickweed.
  • Followed by: TERRIBLE COMMENT

I… I have nothing smart to say about this one. The internet did it for me.

  • “Lauren” definitely has a lot of confidence in her sex skills. She probably had sex with hundreds of guys before starting porn. Porn stars are also attention whores… Going the porn route just means you like to be recorded and placed online to be seen. “Lauren” enjoys the idea of guys fapping to her videos. Gross.

He’s got some truth there. After all, I like to be recorded and placed online to be see. I enjoy the idea of guys fapping to my videos. However, wanna know how many guys I had sex with before I started porn? 6.

  • Then I will spend the rest of my minutes concerned about the drug habit she could be developing to be able to film proficiently.

You know, I always do five lines of coke and drink a bottle of vodka before every scene, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to “film proficiently,” and we wouldn’t want that!  Or maybe I just take my allergy medicine and my birth control pill.

  • Thank you for fulling our Internet with your body, Thank them for watching it ($_$)

I love you non-native English speakers writing in English.

  • Duke? My dog has the same name. Weird. Do you know him?

This definitely contributes to the conversation.

  •  Hi i think being a porn star is good , and maybe one day i can be one too

Someone always has to ask.

I love you, internet. You amuse me, you distract me, you entertain me. Keep it up.

In the spirit of this post, I’ll be accepting all the comments. Hit me with your best.

 

 

*Just because I went to college and learned all about citing sources, all these comments came from these two articles (most other articles didn’t allow comments or were full of so much unrelated bullshit that I gave up on reading them):

http://sites.duke.edu/develledish/2014/02/14/in-response-to-portrait-of-a-porn-star/

http://jezebel.com/duke-university-freshman-outed-as-porn-star-1525267973