How I Date

More than anything else, I get asked about dating — how I date, who I date, etc. This one came from Adult DVD Talk.

I would be very interested in how far you would go on a first date with a person you have a great chemistry from the beginning on. I mean which kind of sexual passions, fetishes, whatever you wanna call it would you share with this person if mentioned or is this something you prefer to discover during the sex? Or do you for instance wait until the sex with somebody who is obviously not informed yet about your love for anal and let him that find out or is it a must for you to tell him that beforehand?

I guess, maybe, in the real world, I’m weird. But I grew up in the fetish community, and I approach dating from that perspective.

If I meet you at a bar, or really, anywhere outside of a kink event, I will flirt with you, yes. But I will never go out on a date with you, and I will never sleep with you. Why? My number one most important thing in a relationship is sexual compatibility, and I’m never going to find that in the real world. Does that make me cynical? Sure. Does that mean I’m saying there is no possibility for kinky people to connect in the real world? No.

I’m a conoissuer, a snob. I’m very picky. I’ve played with the best people in the world, and I no longer have patience for a relationship with someone who isn’t of that caliber.

But, let’s say I am on a first date with someone from the community, and we have great chemistry. Before we even get naked, we have discussed every single sexual thing we might do, in depth. We have talked about likes, dislikes, hard limits. Talked about boundaries and defined our relationship. And the first time we play, there will almost certainly be no fluid exchange. That requires an entirely separate negotiation, one that is complicated by my job, and I’m not gonna go through all that with someone I just met.

Yes, it’s not sexy, and yes, it’s not spontaneous. And yes, if I’m going to have sex with someone, they know beforehand that I enjoy anal. But that doesn’t mean they are ever gonna stick it in my butt.

I’m Casey Calvert, boner killer.  But negotiation turns ME on.





6 Responses to How I Date

  • Casey other than social media, at what venues can a fan meet you in person. Also, when meeting you for the first (or any) time, what is the right\wrong way to approach you.

  • I kind of see were your coming from on this !

  • You didn’t grow up in the “fetish community.” You have posted that you were a virgin well into college and that you would go out on a date “with anyone that asked” – even if you knew you weren’t interested. That you appreciated that nerve it took to ask. Just, few ever asked you out (because they were intimidated by your looks).

    • I’m confused as to how both of these things can’t be true. Please enlighten me.

    • I think it must be hard for any Adult Actor a.k.a Porn Star to deal with these type of questions. You have to separate their on screen persona from whom they are in real life. Casey was giving an honest answer to a question she gets asked a thousand times. Also, Casey like the rest of us is different from how she was in high school and college.

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